


The Bad List

by DragonJadeMountain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Past Character Death, Past Moxiety, Past Relationship(s), Patton is dead and Virgil is depressed, Songfic, TW: Car Crashes, just mentioned, mentions of the other characters, not like a graphic description
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 09:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17423444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonJadeMountain/pseuds/DragonJadeMountain
Summary: When the sun goes down, the moon mourns the loss of lightI had the inspiration to write this out of nowhere and I made my friend cryBased on the song "The Bad List" by Z-Berg and Ryan Ross, go listen to it because it's really good and also Ryan Ross





	The Bad List

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry in advance
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of past character death, non-graphic mentions of a car crash, the loss of a loved one

It was a cold day, a rarity in Florida. A sharp wind blew through the air, chilling the air and biting at anyone unlucky enough to find themselves outside. Virgil loved the cold. The wind’s edges were comforting as they bit into his loose clothing and left trails of goosebumps running down his arms. The cold bite made him feel alive. It made him feel. The salty sea spray that was carried in by the wind, was also sharp and chilling, soaking into Virgil’s clothes, but he could hardly bring himself to care too much. His bare feet crunched against the sandy beach, toes sinking into the cold, wet grains and getting stuck on his skin as he walked.

Patton used to love walking along this beach. Hardly anyone came down here, even in the heat of the summer when everyone traveled to the beaches to play in the energetic waves with friends and families. But this beach was theirs and only theirs, it always used to be their private place. Patton had loved to race down right to the water’s edge, kicking off his shoes and socks as he went to soak his toes into the water. He would turn back to Virgil, his enormous lopsided smile brightening up even the darkest and gloomiest of days. He would run back and practically drag Virgil back down to the tide line with him, laughter blooming in the air like daisies in springs.

Patton had always been like that, intoxicating and gorgeous and so incredibly vibrant. They had met on the first Christmas after high school, both of them still young and stupid and hopelessly in love. It had been Roman to introduce them, dragging them both along to some sort of Christmas party that neither had particularly wanted to go to. Virgil had hated it. He hated the crowds of people in suits and the layers and layers of etiquette and politeness that he could never seem to get the hang of. The harsh yellow color of the fluorescent office lights were painful and grating on his senses, but the whole world seemed to stop when Patton had entered. The ugly lighting suddenly seemed to form a halo around his curly blonde hair. His light brown skin seemed to glow and his smile illuminated the whole room. He was gorgeous, he took Virgil’s breath away.

It was a whirlwind, and Virgil had thrown himself in with all his heart. He had never been one to be reckless, but he couldn’t help but be swept up by the roller coaster and join Patton along for the ride. It was as wild and crazy as young love could ever hope to be. Patton always loved people with his whole heart, letting it lead the way before his head and Virgil couldn’t help but follow his lead and be swept away by the waves of emotions Patton provided. He was never one to trust in other people, but he trusted Patton with all his heart and he let himself fall a little more in love every single day.

Which is why it had to end. It was sudden and stupid and heartbreaking. It ended in the light of a rising sun, with the screech of car tires, and the sounds of crunching metal. It had ended in the angry lights of a hospital and the dreadful beep of a flat line. Virgil had never cried as much as he had when he had seen his beloved laying in a white bed, red staining his face and chest, golden hair spread out on the pillow, and still smiling peacefully. He had looked so peaceful lying there, like an angel laid to rest. He had always looked peaceful when he slept, and now he was going to sleep forever while Virgil had to live out the rest of his life alone. The ring hiding in Virgil’s pocket started to burn a hole right through it.

Virgil turned over his shoulder to look up at the setting sun over the suburbs in the distance. He turned back to gaze at the ocean, gold and orange beams of light mixing and blending with the brightest pinks to form a pastel masterpiece that danced across the sky. It felt like even the entire sky itself was saying goodbye to the setting sun. Virgil pulled the ring out of his suit pocket. He ran his calloused fingers gently over the gold surface. It was a simple band at first glance, but delicate sun-like shapes were carved carefully into the surface. Patton would have loved it.

Virgil made his way down to the surf, a place where he had stood with Patton countless times before. The water ran over his frozen feet before fading back into the distance. It quickly came back, repeating the cycle and chilling his feet. He looked back down at the small ring in his hands. With a shout, he threw it into the ocean as hard as he could, watching as the bright glint disappeared into the water, taking his anger with it, leaving only a painfully familiar emptiness behind. He stood completely still in the cold surf. His phone vibrated in his pocket, probably a call from Roman or Logan. They had been calling him constantly, but he never responded. They would ask him if he was okay, he knew they wouldn’t believe him if he told them he was fine. Logan was always the best at telling when he was lying.

Virgil didn’t want to go home. The house felt so empty without anybody else in it. The candle light that Patton had loved so much and once felt warm and welcoming felt mocking and mournful. The beloved little pine tree that Patton had helped to decorate mocked him in the corner, the space beneath it free of presents, the way it would always stay. The piano bench in the corner where they had spent so many days, sitting side by side and creating duets and filling the house with music would forever remain empty and quiet. Virgil didn’t think he would ever be able to open the cover of the old baby upright and hear its music again. It hurt too much.

Virgil shivered as another blast of sharp wind drew him from his thoughts and back to the cold empty beach. The sun had nearly finished its cruel and ever constant path behind the houses behind him, the sky quickly darkening and pastels fading into more appropriate deep blues and blacks. From behind him, the light of the city lit up the beach. It would seem nearly romantic, the white and yellow lights of the beach town illuminating the night, if it weren’t for the gaping hole left in Virgil’s chest. Virgil shivered, the faint outline of a figure now gone. Patton had always been a hopeless romantic, he had loved the cheesy gentleness of the quaint little town. Virgil could almost feel the ghost of Patton’s lips on his own, a feeling he knew he would never feel again. Now, the only thing he could feel was the salt of his own tears.

Reluctantly, Virgil pulled his eyes away from the sea and turned back to the lights of the city. His eyes were wet with seawater and tears, and red from crying for so long. He rubbed one of the palms of his hands against his forehead and sighed, starting his slow, cold trudge up the beach back to the home he’d rather not return to. It wasn’t the same without his sunlight. It would never be the same again. No more Christmas nights dancing lazily around the Christmas tree, quiet piano music in the background. No more New Years’ Eve kisses to bring in the New Year with passion and love. No more laughter and the smell of baking cookies and brownies. No more lazy morning cuddling under the covers as light streamed in through the curtains. No more Patton. No more. The sun had set, leaving the moon alone in his mourning with only the blackness of the night for company.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on Tumblr, [dragonofthemountain](https://dragonofthemountain.tumblr.com)


End file.
